i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
Welp...herpes.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
