all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
What did we do last night that was yellow?
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
Let's paint friendship bongs
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Randomize
