I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
Randomize
