Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
