I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
Randomize
