i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
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