I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
