I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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