There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Randomize
