i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
I got inside last night via doggy door
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Randomize
