He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
