At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
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