operation have a gay friend backfired
I'm passing your future prison.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Randomize
