I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
He better not be in your backpack
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
