best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
Damn victory sex feels great
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
Randomize
