Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
Randomize
