Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
Randomize
