Rock
Scissors
Fuck
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
