the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
