I hate all girls vehemently.
I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
Bang-toberfest begins!!
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
