Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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