Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
