Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
Randomize
