Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
Randomize
