my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
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