Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
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