Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
Randomize
