Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
