Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
Randomize
