I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
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