You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
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