What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
Randomize
