that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
