I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
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