I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Randomize
