Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Randomize
