so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Randomize
