saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
