Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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