Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
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