i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
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