fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
Randomize
