It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Randomize
