So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
Randomize
