Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
