Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
Randomize
