im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
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