Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
where does the pee come out of this thing
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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