I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
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