just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
Randomize
