guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
Michael Bay diarrhea
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Randomize
